Finding Your Path of Resilience: Life Beyond the Pandemic (and/or any major life event that radically alters the course of your life)
What is Your Resiliency Quotient?
Re-emerging, re-inventing, re-evaluating….this is the process of evolving…of keeping up with what life is causing us to become. This can be a painful process and often the catalytic experience for the process is unwanted, unbidden and seems completely unfair. You know, those things we can’t control—other people, the onset of an illness, a threat to our collective well being such as the pandemic or terrifying weather conditions, something loved leaving our life. These experiences are part of being human. We have all collapsed under the weight, imagining we would never make it through to the other side, but most of us do make it to the other side with more of ourselves to BE going forward, more love to give going forward and more of a capacity for appreciating each moment in life. Embracing these experiences as the gift of opportunity they most surely are is to embody the quality of resilience. OK, so the embracing approach may not be the first thing you think of when bad news hits, but with a little time and willingness, you can change your perspective. And perspective is everything!
What is Resilience?
First, a dictionary definition. Resilience is the process and outcome of successfully adapting to difficult or challenging life experiences, especially through mental, emotional and behavioral flexibility and adjustment to external and internal demands. That’s a pretty good working definition to begin with, although we’re going to take it beyond the concept of adjustment and into the idea of expansion. That is, there is always something more, something newly discovered, some richness added to the life—that is inherent in the process.
Now, to really ground this idea in your own experience, look back for a moment and identify two major life experiences that once seemed so unwanted, yet now you can see contributed positively to where you are in your life today. Take a moment to write a few sentences about these experiences and the expansion that came from them.
You Have the Power to Change Your Perspective
One thing I’ve learned through my own personal setbacks, disappointments and unexpected– and often abrupt– changes in the course of my life is this: We have the power to change our perspective and, in so doing, create a more expansive and satisfying life. In so doing, we can live with more confidence and trust because we know we can transform our human suffering into deeper meaning, purpose and joy. We are no longer at the effect of conditions. We are learning to live unconditionally.
I have learned this truth also from my years of helping my clients work through all kinds of challenges and come out on the other side thriving, flourishing! This is due to their willingness coupled with the powerful modalities I offer in my healing arts practice. You can learn more about these modalities by visiting my website and also contacting me about how I can help you in your personal journey.
In the meantime, here are some suggestions for approaching any challenging experience or condition in your life. It’s normal and human to react—but after the reacting, we pause, we breathe, we quiet the mind. Remember that your slightest bit of willingness to change your perspective is all you need.
As a collective, we’ve certainly faced the challenge of navigating the pandemic and all the changes that were required of us. If you wish, you can use your pandemic experience as the subject of your inquiry or you may choose another subject more pressing in your life. Now, when you’re in a more receptive state, here are some questions to contemplate:
What can I appreciate about this situation?
Every problem has a solution and solutions lead to improvement/expansion. What might the solution be?
How might this situation be causing my own expansion or the expansion of those around me?
What is the best or highest thought I can have around this situation?
As you write your thoughts about these questions, notice how you’re feeling. Are you gradually beginning to feel some sense of relief, perhaps more positive and more insightful about the situation?
Answering these questions is a process you can return to again and again as needed. I would love to hear about your experience with these suggestions and would love to hear your thoughts on this most fruitful of practices—Resilience.